Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
Thursday, April 8, 2010
The Tale of the Last Few Days
I am about to take you on a journey. It is filled with adventure, foul language, and piles upon piles of bullshit. Abandon hope, all ye who choose to read further... submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, this is "The Tale of the Last Few Days" (you'll get that reference if you're over the age of 19 or under the age of 40)
It began on Monday evening when I was on my way to class. I turned a corner and suddenly my car wouldn't accelerate... at all. it was still running perfectly but it wouldn't move. I proceeded to push it into the parking lot of a nearby Quality Dairy (incidentally pushing a car up hill is difficult).
After having it towed to the Firestone in west Lansing we had to leave it over night because they were about to close. Now it is important to note that Loren, the people at Firestone, the guy driving the tow truck, and myself ALL knew that the likelihood of it being the transmission was almost absolute. We also all knew that transmissions cost thousands of dollars to repair.
I called off work for the following day because I had no way of getting there and went home. Upon arriving home I got more drunk than I ever have in my entire life. I drank two beers and when I could still remember that my car was broken, I drank almost an entire bottle of Jack Daniels. This happened in the course of about 10 minutes and caused me to pass out relatively shortly afterward.
I woke up the next day, hungover, and my car was still broken. Mission not accomplished. Let it be known that I am AWARE that drinking your problems away is bad, so please don't lecture me, I KNOW. Moving on... we found out from Firestone that it WAS indeed probably the transmission but since Firestone does not do transmissions we had to tow it to a dealership. That dealership was Hyundai of Lansing. They informed us that it was definitely the transmission and it would be SIX THOUSAND DOLLARS to replace... my first thought was one of regret that I was now out of Jack Daniels.
Needless to say we opted NOT to spend six grand fixing a car that is worth three grand tops. We did have to pay Hyundai of Lansing a 50 dollar "go fuck yourself" fee in order for them to look at it and tell us it was broken, though. It was going to be a $100 "go fuck yourself" fee but honest blokes that they are, it only took a half an hour rather than a full hour to ascertain that it was indeed broken.
After calling around and getting our ducks in a row, though, we have found out that, apparently, the VTi transmission in the Saturn ION is a piece of shit. They know it's a piece of shit, we know that it's a piece of shit, and they got sued for selling pieces of shit. As per the "shit suit" settlement, they (Saturn) will either A) pay for half of the repair of B) give us five grand toward the purchase of a brand new car.
We have decided to go with option B and get a brand new car. We're going to buy a Cobalt, and using current discounts and incentives we should be able to get it for around 8 grand. The 5 grand from Saturn will serve to wipe out the debt we currently still owe on the dead car. With a co-signer, we will end up paying about what we are paying now in car payments.
In the mean time I have rented a car from Enterprise. Now, you see, what enterprise has done to us is bend us over a table and anally violate us over and over and over and over and over. First of all we booked a rental on their website for about 42 dollars a day plus 14 dollars extra for being irresponsible children under the age of 25. This seemed reasonable, roughly 55 bucks a day for a rental didn't seem bad. When I got to Enterprise, though, I was informed that we would need to pay 14 dollars PER driver, so 14 for both me AND Loren, making it about 70 bucks a day. ON TOP OF THIS they needed a 400 dollar deposit that their site failed to mention in our receipt. To top it all off they had to call the dealership that my dead car is at to make sure that it was definitely broken and I have no fucking clue why... it seemed really invasive and really stupid.
On top of this we had to pay $80 to have the dead car towed from Hyundai of Lansing to a "Saturn authorized" dealership because, as it turns out, out super special "RV Plus" AAA membership with 100 miles of FREE towing only covers "one tow per breakdown".
Additionally my best friend Michael isn't speaking to be because I drunk dialed him when I was hammered and when he called the next day to make sure I was all right I was either a prick or dodged his calls and texts entirely. To be honest I'm sort of with him on this one, it was a dick move on my part.
In summation; fuck you Saturn, fuck you Enterprise, fuck you AAA, fuck you Hyundai of Lansing, and most importantly FUCK YOU GOD!
It began on Monday evening when I was on my way to class. I turned a corner and suddenly my car wouldn't accelerate... at all. it was still running perfectly but it wouldn't move. I proceeded to push it into the parking lot of a nearby Quality Dairy (incidentally pushing a car up hill is difficult).
After having it towed to the Firestone in west Lansing we had to leave it over night because they were about to close. Now it is important to note that Loren, the people at Firestone, the guy driving the tow truck, and myself ALL knew that the likelihood of it being the transmission was almost absolute. We also all knew that transmissions cost thousands of dollars to repair.
I called off work for the following day because I had no way of getting there and went home. Upon arriving home I got more drunk than I ever have in my entire life. I drank two beers and when I could still remember that my car was broken, I drank almost an entire bottle of Jack Daniels. This happened in the course of about 10 minutes and caused me to pass out relatively shortly afterward.
I woke up the next day, hungover, and my car was still broken. Mission not accomplished. Let it be known that I am AWARE that drinking your problems away is bad, so please don't lecture me, I KNOW. Moving on... we found out from Firestone that it WAS indeed probably the transmission but since Firestone does not do transmissions we had to tow it to a dealership. That dealership was Hyundai of Lansing. They informed us that it was definitely the transmission and it would be SIX THOUSAND DOLLARS to replace... my first thought was one of regret that I was now out of Jack Daniels.
Needless to say we opted NOT to spend six grand fixing a car that is worth three grand tops. We did have to pay Hyundai of Lansing a 50 dollar "go fuck yourself" fee in order for them to look at it and tell us it was broken, though. It was going to be a $100 "go fuck yourself" fee but honest blokes that they are, it only took a half an hour rather than a full hour to ascertain that it was indeed broken.
After calling around and getting our ducks in a row, though, we have found out that, apparently, the VTi transmission in the Saturn ION is a piece of shit. They know it's a piece of shit, we know that it's a piece of shit, and they got sued for selling pieces of shit. As per the "shit suit" settlement, they (Saturn) will either A) pay for half of the repair of B) give us five grand toward the purchase of a brand new car.
We have decided to go with option B and get a brand new car. We're going to buy a Cobalt, and using current discounts and incentives we should be able to get it for around 8 grand. The 5 grand from Saturn will serve to wipe out the debt we currently still owe on the dead car. With a co-signer, we will end up paying about what we are paying now in car payments.
In the mean time I have rented a car from Enterprise. Now, you see, what enterprise has done to us is bend us over a table and anally violate us over and over and over and over and over. First of all we booked a rental on their website for about 42 dollars a day plus 14 dollars extra for being irresponsible children under the age of 25. This seemed reasonable, roughly 55 bucks a day for a rental didn't seem bad. When I got to Enterprise, though, I was informed that we would need to pay 14 dollars PER driver, so 14 for both me AND Loren, making it about 70 bucks a day. ON TOP OF THIS they needed a 400 dollar deposit that their site failed to mention in our receipt. To top it all off they had to call the dealership that my dead car is at to make sure that it was definitely broken and I have no fucking clue why... it seemed really invasive and really stupid.
On top of this we had to pay $80 to have the dead car towed from Hyundai of Lansing to a "Saturn authorized" dealership because, as it turns out, out super special "RV Plus" AAA membership with 100 miles of FREE towing only covers "one tow per breakdown".
Additionally my best friend Michael isn't speaking to be because I drunk dialed him when I was hammered and when he called the next day to make sure I was all right I was either a prick or dodged his calls and texts entirely. To be honest I'm sort of with him on this one, it was a dick move on my part.
In summation; fuck you Saturn, fuck you Enterprise, fuck you AAA, fuck you Hyundai of Lansing, and most importantly FUCK YOU GOD!
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Friday, April 2, 2010
Non-Religious Christianity
Religion, denomination, the Bible, and Jesus Christ are all very important and extremely divisive issues to literally billions of people all over the planet. What you are about to read is me very carefully dismantling this issue and, in all likelihood, angering the extremely low number of you that take the time to read it.
I consider myself to be a Christian but I often find that my political and moral views conflict with what are supposed to be my religious views. This is a large cause of anxiety for me because I sincerely want to believe and I do believe but I feel as though I'm excluded from the community and culture that comes with Christianity because I can't 100% commit myself to it.
By "it" I don't mean "God" by any means. I'm referring to the community and I believe that having those friends and family members that share that culture with you is important. I can never just dive in and let go in that culture because I feel like I can't be the right kind of person for it. I believe that God will accept me for what I am and who I am... it's religious people that I fear the judgment of. Maybe that's wrong of me... or maybe I do need to change but as of right now here is who I am:
I cuss more than I'd care to admit, particularly when I'm stressed out or tired. I drink, not excessively, but on occasion. I am extremely liberal in my beliefs. I believe in evolution. I am pro-choice. I am against the death penalty. I'm anti war. I think that the health care in the country is appalling. I believe that homosexuals are born the way that they are and God loves them as they are. I believe that marriage is a legal institution that grants civil rights to individuals and refusing that right to people based on their sexual preference is abhorrent. I believe that forcing your religion onto other people is wrong and that everyone has the right to believe what they want. I believe that if God is as just and loving as I believe he is then entrance to heaven is granted based on the life the person led, NOT what they chose to believe or how many rosaries hung from their rear-view mirror.
If you are are one of those people who are comfortable in a Christian community, then you probably disagree with one, if not all of those view points and can probably understand what I'm trying to say. I do want to find that community that I can feel like I'm not sticking out like a sore thumb... I do. I want to feel at home among other people that believe in God... I've just lost hope that it will ever happen.
I consider myself to be a Christian but I often find that my political and moral views conflict with what are supposed to be my religious views. This is a large cause of anxiety for me because I sincerely want to believe and I do believe but I feel as though I'm excluded from the community and culture that comes with Christianity because I can't 100% commit myself to it.
By "it" I don't mean "God" by any means. I'm referring to the community and I believe that having those friends and family members that share that culture with you is important. I can never just dive in and let go in that culture because I feel like I can't be the right kind of person for it. I believe that God will accept me for what I am and who I am... it's religious people that I fear the judgment of. Maybe that's wrong of me... or maybe I do need to change but as of right now here is who I am:
I cuss more than I'd care to admit, particularly when I'm stressed out or tired. I drink, not excessively, but on occasion. I am extremely liberal in my beliefs. I believe in evolution. I am pro-choice. I am against the death penalty. I'm anti war. I think that the health care in the country is appalling. I believe that homosexuals are born the way that they are and God loves them as they are. I believe that marriage is a legal institution that grants civil rights to individuals and refusing that right to people based on their sexual preference is abhorrent. I believe that forcing your religion onto other people is wrong and that everyone has the right to believe what they want. I believe that if God is as just and loving as I believe he is then entrance to heaven is granted based on the life the person led, NOT what they chose to believe or how many rosaries hung from their rear-view mirror.
If you are are one of those people who are comfortable in a Christian community, then you probably disagree with one, if not all of those view points and can probably understand what I'm trying to say. I do want to find that community that I can feel like I'm not sticking out like a sore thumb... I do. I want to feel at home among other people that believe in God... I've just lost hope that it will ever happen.
National Autism Awareness Day
Today is National Autism Awareness Day. Autism is literally one of the only "causes" on earth that I care about so I'm posting this. If you don't know about or understand it, read. If you have money donate to:
http://www.autismeducation.net/
P.S Michael Savage is a fuck head and I hope terrible terrible things happen to him. Google it if you don't know what I'm talking about.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
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