Religion, denomination, the Bible, and Jesus Christ are all very important and extremely divisive issues to literally billions of people all over the planet. What you are about to read is me very carefully dismantling this issue and, in all likelihood, angering the extremely low number of you that take the time to read it.
I consider myself to be a Christian but I often find that my political and moral views conflict with what are supposed to be my religious views. This is a large cause of anxiety for me because I sincerely want to believe and I do believe but I feel as though I'm excluded from the community and culture that comes with Christianity because I can't 100% commit myself to it.
By "it" I don't mean "God" by any means. I'm referring to the community and I believe that having those friends and family members that share that culture with you is important. I can never just dive in and let go in that culture because I feel like I can't be the right kind of person for it. I believe that God will accept me for what I am and who I am... it's religious people that I fear the judgment of. Maybe that's wrong of me... or maybe I do need to change but as of right now here is who I am:
I cuss more than I'd care to admit, particularly when I'm stressed out or tired. I drink, not excessively, but on occasion. I am extremely liberal in my beliefs. I believe in evolution. I am pro-choice. I am against the death penalty. I'm anti war. I think that the health care in the country is appalling. I believe that homosexuals are born the way that they are and God loves them as they are. I believe that marriage is a legal institution that grants civil rights to individuals and refusing that right to people based on their sexual preference is abhorrent. I believe that forcing your religion onto other people is wrong and that everyone has the right to believe what they want. I believe that if God is as just and loving as I believe he is then entrance to heaven is granted based on the life the person led, NOT what they chose to believe or how many rosaries hung from their rear-view mirror.
If you are are one of those people who are comfortable in a Christian community, then you probably disagree with one, if not all of those view points and can probably understand what I'm trying to say. I do want to find that community that I can feel like I'm not sticking out like a sore thumb... I do. I want to feel at home among other people that believe in God... I've just lost hope that it will ever happen.